Speakeasy Feel
I saw the new Batman movie. Thought it was kinda boring. But I had a couple beers and the seats were super comfy. I hadn’t been to a movie theater in a long time. The last time was when Once Upon a Time in Hollywood came out. This theater was way nicer than that one. You’ve gotta go to the luxury movie theaters now. Seems pointless otherwise. Before the movie started, one of the guys who worked at the theater told someone sitting behind me that if they ordered wine and “got the large,” they’d get free refills the rest of the night. At first I thought, “That can’t be right,” but looking back I don’t think he had any motivation to lie about that. Anyway they had a whole menu and the pizza looked really good.
Inside the theater, it felt like we were all chillin’. Batman was just on in the background. It sort of worked out that it was boring. Like an old movie that’s being projected onto the wall to make the bar feel cool. I spent most of the movie thinking about work stuff and being anxious about it for no reason. You keep hoping that the beers and the movie and the recliner combined are gonna put your spirit at ease. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. This time they mostly didn’t.
At one point toward the end of the movie, two girls sitting in the front row started taking selfies. They were laughing, flashes kept going off. That usually pisses off a lot of people in movie theaters. But I didn’t care. Didn’t seem like anyone else cared either. Like I said, we were all just hanging out, sort of watching The Batman. I was thinking about how close the theater is to my apartment, and how it would be nice to come back and try the pizza sometime. I should’ve just ordered the pizza right then. It was such a long movie, and I totally could’ve ordered pizza during the part I thought was gonna be the end.
It’s all good, though. I’ll be back. This theater is so close to my place. I was actually just on their website to see what else they’re showing right now. Nothing stood out movie-wise, but everything else — cocktail menu, shareable plates, beers on tap — looked really solid. I don’t need to like the movie. The whole place has a “speakeasy feel,” according to the website. I’ve been. It doesn’t. But that’s okay. When they say “speakeasy,” I think they just mean “cool.” And it is cool. Probably cool enough to go back and see the new Liam Neeson movie, which has an 8% from critics and 82% from the audience on Rotten Tomatoes. That disparity makes more sense in an era of seat-side fajitas. Might even get those instead of the pizza next time. Maybe I’ll get both. It’s a judgement-free zone. Unlimited selfies and bottomless wine. The options are endless, much like the new Batman movie. Call it a speakeasy, call it whatever, I’m in.