Dear Mom and Dad, Here’s Why I’m Not Coming Home For Thanksgiving This Year
A holiday gathering with our family just isn't the energy I need right now.
I’m not a big fan of displaying private messages on the internet, but I felt the need to share my truth. For the first time in my life, I won’t be spending Thanksgiving with my family, and I couldn’t be happier about that. Here is the email I sent my parents earlier this week. I hope it encourages you to make the decision that is right for you. Because that’s what Thanksgiving is all about.
Dear mom and dad,
I know Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away, and I was planning on coming home for the holidays. But after giving this a lot of thought, I’ve decided to spend Thanksgiving with my new friend, Roxy, a dominatrix I met on Instagram.
I won’t pretend like this doesn’t have anything to do with last year’s Thanksgiving debacle, which I’m not even gonna go into. You both know where I stand politically, and dad’s openly hateful rhetoric at the table last year was entirely inappropriate. In front of the kids, no less. It’s clear to me that the behavior of our president over the last four years has had a truly toxic effect on the way you speak to people, and I can no longer partake in this kind of intolerance and closed-mindedness. So I will be spending my Thanksgiving with Roxy, a beautiful woman who accepts me for who I really am.
We haven’t known each other for very long, but Roxy and I have actually been connecting on a really deep level recently. After taking a few of her virtual tantra sessions, we started messaging each other about body meditation, which I’ve been doing consistently for several weeks now. Not that I expect either of you to understand that. And before you get all judgy, it’s not all about sex. Roxy is teaching me how to be more in touch with myself, something that our shame-based society just doesn’t value enough, which is another sad truth that Roxy and I have really bonded over. Anyway, subscribing to her OnlyFans has been one of the healthiest things I’ve done all year, and that’s what led me to this decision not to come home next week.
It’s not just because of COVID. It’s not just because of grandma’s racist comments that get worse every year. Those things certainly don’t help. But more than anything, the last nine months have given me the chance to become more in touch with myself than I’ve ever been. So, no offense, but a holiday gathering with our family is just not the energy I need right now.
Instead, I’ll be participating in a virtual celebration with Roxy and several others who have subscribed to her All-Inclusive Tantric BDSM Thanksgiving Experience, during which we will enjoy some of the less problematic elements of the holiday in a more sensual way. I assume both of you think this is “Satanic” or something, which it isn’t. What’s Satanic is celebrating the oppression of Native American people, culture and land by European colonists. Again, I don’t expect you to understand this, because it’s clear neither of you have much interest in understanding the truth about American society, much less the detrimental effects of patriarchal Calvinism. So you can “pray for me” all you want, but just know that while you and the rest of the family are having the same stupid arguments about the feasibility of universal health care (it is absolutely feasible, by the way), I’ll be spending that time fully immersed in reflection, self-acceptance and playful banter with Roxy.
Because the reality is, Roxy understands me in a way that you two never have. She has been incredibly helpful in encouraging me to shed the many puritanical guilt complexes that have shackled me for years. I think her virtual Thanksgiving is exactly where I need to be this year, not at your dining room table debating the validity of election results (which couldn’t be more conclusive, by the way) with people who just don’t have the capacity to hold space for me. And you know who does? Roxy. In fact, I’ve found that the more I upgrade my subscription to her OnlyFans, the more space she is able to hold. So I can only imagine the benefits that will come of this 4-hour meditative and intimate experience, which she has graciously offered me for a discount price of only $399.
On another note, dad, do you think you could send me $150 for a separate expense? It’s a totally other thing. My latest paycheck just hasn’t come in yet for some reason. Not sure why. But yeah, the $150 is for essentials. Utilities and whatnot. I was expecting to receive another stimulus check by now, but this administration has made it clear they just don’t care about people’s well-being at all. Shocker. Anyway, let me know when you’ve sent it.
Sincerely,
Witt