A Beer and a Shot
I went on a date the other night, and before we had said much of anything to each other, she took a look at the menu and decided she wanted to kick things off with the $8 “beer and a shot” deal. I was not expecting this but rolled with it. We each got a beer and a shot. Turns out she had no idea what a beer and a shot is. Not sure what she had envisioned. It’s pretty self-explanatory. But we took the shots anyway and cracked open the beers. We then proceeded to have zero chemistry for an hour, and I’ve never been more thankful for a beer and a shot.
I did appreciate that she went for the best deal on the menu. And we didn’t get any more drinks after the beers and the shots because the beers and the shots were all we had in common, so I got out of there having spent only $20. I would’ve been happy to spend a little more. But once the tequila wore off, that just wasn’t the vibe. When you kick off a date that is going nowhere with a beer and a shot, for the first few minutes of the date you find yourself thinking, “Hey, it feels like there might be a spark here!” Which there isn’t. It’s the tequila. The tequila is the spark. A great spark, but not the spark. More like a sparkler. It dies out pretty quickly, you both come to the conclusion that nothing is really happening, and then you have to start thinking of ways to say goodbye that are polite and sweet but also say, “You cool if we never see each other again?”
But back when the tequila was still giving us a glimmer of hope, she asked me if I had been going on a lot of dates over the last year. I have not. She had. She seemed disappointed that I was a little rusty, but it’s hard to date during an economic recession. I was on unemployment for most of last year, and then I took my old job back, and it turns out unemployment was actually a much more lucrative gig. So if I see a girl’s profile on a dating app, and her favorite hobby is “traveling” or her love language is “receiving gifts,” my instinct is to say, “Hey, it’s been a tough year, tone it down. How about podcasts and words of affirmation?” Big shoutout to my “podcasts and words of affirmation” ladies, by the way. I see your profiles, and I appreciate you, and I think situational awareness is hot. I do aspire to make traveling one of my favorite hobbies again, but times are tough and it’s probably going to be awhile.
She, on the other hand, had been going on a lot of dates. They haven’t been great, she said, but the more dates she goes on, the more she learns about herself. So that’s good. For me and my generation of people, there’s nothing more important than the journey of self-knowledge. So yes, our date was a dud. But if it helped shed some light on a few interior truths, who am I to say it wasn’t also a massive success?
Personally, I can’t say I learned much about myself that night. I did learn that starting with a beer and a shot isn’t the worst approach to Hinge dates, which I think is still a valuable takeaway. Great way to ease into conversation with someone you’ll talk to for an hour and then part ways with forever. I might even throw it out there as an option next time. My last date actually thought of it, I’ll say. Kind of by accident. She didn’t even know what a beer and a shot is. Can you believe that? I always thought it was pretty self-explanatory. Nope, haven’t been going on many of these lately. How about you? Oh, wow. How’s that going? Yeah, crazy time to date, right? Lol. How long have you lived in New York? No way, same! I mean, I moved here a couple months later. But yeah. Well, cool. I’ve never been to this place. Great spot. Oh yeah, definitely. What’s that? Oh, I’m having a great time, too! I think it might just be the tequila, though. We’ve probably got 15 more minutes until neither of us cares anymore. So how’s your summer been?